Spontaneity is truly the spice of life. An expression that’s never more true when traveling long term. By sheer happenstance, we found ourselves in a fortuitous position when we took an impromptu private tour with a local man when visiting stunning Hoi An, Vietnam.
This tour turned out to be one of the most fascinating days of our 18 month honeymoon. The extremely detailed insights into Vietnamese life we learned in those few short hours were worth more than the previous 27 days we spent in Vietnam combined.
So without further ado, this is our experience with Mr. Phong, a local guy from a village close to Hoi An, a war veteran and loving family man.
Right Place And Right Time
We were lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. Sometimes, you just strike it lucky and the highlight of our Hoi An itinerary was a complete coincidence.
For this trip, we had allocated 3 full days in Hoi An. The plan was to spend one day exploring the countryside and beaches then one day walking around the town, get fitted at a tailor and generally soaking up the lovely atmosphere. On the last day, we’d take a day trip to either the My Son Ruins or the Golden Bridge in the Ba Na Hills near Da Nang. Little did we know, Hoi An had other ideas for our visit.
The right place at the right time was a nothing more than a simple restaurant along the banks of Thu Bon river. That night, the quaint town was bustling with couples taking romantic boat rides in the early evening. It was only our first night in Hoi An but we already loved the place.
Glowing lanterns of all colors illuminating the ancient yellow buildings, the perfect temperature cooling us down after a scorching hot day and a wonderfully laid back atmosphere transporting us into another world.
READ: Things you can’t miss in Hoi An
Our Chance Meeting Mr. Phong
The heart of Hoi An on an evening is centered around the Bridge of Lights. There’s heavy tourist footfall, but an enormous amount of dining options. In all honesty, we were feeling a little jaded having driven 8 hours over the Hai Van Pass from Hue to Hoi An on motorbikes earlier that day.
So we opted for a quieter restaurant along the riverfront a few buildings away from the crowd. Somewhere between discussing the awesome Hai Van Pass, people watching and enjoying a celebratory cold beer, we were approached by an older man in the restaurant.
The man introduced himself as Mr. Phong.
He said he worked part time at the restaurant, but also conducted a private tour of his home in a village just outside of Hoi An. In good English, he asked us what our plans were for our time in town and suggested that we consider joining him at his home for a half day tour.
Initially we thought the situation seemed a bit strange, but we were intrigued, so we humored him. He held his finger up and said one moment. Upon his return, Mr. Phong was struggling to carry 4 huge diaries that looked more like spell books straight out of Harry Potter.
After he dumped the books on the table and a poof of smoke rose like a mini volcanic eruption, we cracked the first one open. Turns out these were personal notes from hundreds of tourists who already experienced his private tour. The notes continued all the way back to 2007!
Now that he had our full attention, we continued to read entry after entry. Each message was a rave review. Mr. Phong then articulated a brief outline of what his Hoi An tour would entail – a history lesson, homemade lunch followed by a tour of his home and village. We were instantly convinced. So it looked like the My Son Ruins would have to wait until our next visit.
A Dodgy Motorbike Ride
How many times have you heard about or driven through hectic traffic in Vietnam?!
Fortunately, we were now well versed in the art of Vietnam motorbike survival by the time we reached Hoi An. Mr. Phong gave us simple instructions for the following morning… be outside our Hoi An hotel at 9:00am on our motorbike, ready to move.
Luckily, the stickler for time among us (Kristen) made sure we were ready way ahead of time because Mr. Phong pulled up on his own motorbike at exactly 9:00am. He appeared as a man looking super smart in shirt and trousers. We knew this was going to be a great day because he already kept his word. And we also appreciated something was on time for once in Vietnam.
We had no idea what to expect, so we just followed along, weaving through traffic, hoping the locals wouldn’t crash into us. After a few minutes we were out of town onto much wider open roads. We then crossed onto a highway which further tested our death dodging abilities.
After a short time, we exited the highway and soon pulled off onto narrow roads again before finally arriving at what we assumed was Mr. Phong’s home. As we entered a small compound with a fenced perimeter and concrete patio area, we couldn’t help but notice two separate buildings made up Mr. Phong’s land.
It was very peaceful and silent except for the distinctive sound of chickens clucking. Once the chickens meandered away, all we could hear was the sound of the breeze rustling leaves on yet another hot day in central Vietnam.
The Vietnamese Way Of Life
As we parked our motorbike, Mr. Phong welcomed us into his humble home as we walked through a huge rectangular concrete opening. We met his lovely daughter who brought out some water and snacks while our Vietnam life lesson began.
We were enlightened by Mr. Phong’s personal life as he explained his colorful past along with his knowledge of Vietnam’s history, beliefs, religion and culture. He went on to discuss how most Vietnamese people believe in Confucianism but there are individuals who also follow other religions including Catholicism, Buddhism and Christianity.
We aren’t going to touch much on religion here, but Confucianism educates about two fundamental principles which include ensuring correct behavior and the importance of obedience. As he spoke, Mr. Phong drew diagrams and notes so we could easily follow along. You can see an example below:
Remembering Loved Ones
Now that we had a good understanding of the Vietnamese culture, it was time for the personal tour. Mr. Phong showed us around his home and explained the story of each room. We won’t go into too much detail about his house because it’s his personal space. However, we’ll go as far as saying it was roughly what we had pictured for rural Vietnam. Despite the bright lights of Hoi An, this was still a developing country after all.
Next on the tour agenda was family life. In Vietnamese culture, family comes first hands down and we immediately learned about the strong respect each member of the family held for older generations. Unfortunately, Mr Phong’s wife had passed away from cancer about a year prior to when we met him.
He explained that for the first two years after someone dies, a large shrine with offerings such as photographs, food and candles would be on display in their home. Normally, we wouldn’t take a photo of such a personal experience, but he insisted.
Birthdays are not typically celebrated, but “deathdays” are celebrated heavily in Vietnam. This is how Mr. Phong was celebrating the life of his wife. The red candles represent the physical world, putting one in touch with the flesh.
Each day, he and several other family members would gather around her alter to say many prayers, to ask for help or anything else they needed. And once two years had passed, the shrine would remain but the red candles would be switched with white to signify healing, harmony and wholeness of the spirit.
An extensive history of agriculture and farming in Vietnam followed as we learned all about famous rice paddies. Farming was still a way of life throughout the country which included government funding through a points and credits system.
The Vietnam War Takes A Toll
Our favorite part of the day was when Mr. Phong discussed the Vietnam War including the role he played. Despite everything he had just explained, this was the part of the tour where his experience showed through. He detailed in great length about Ho Chi Minh’s journey around the world, as he developed his communist ideology and the plans he had for Vietnam in the years leading up to the beginning of the war.
Then Mr. Phong told us a fascinating story.
He pointed to the only other small building on his land, around 20 feet from his but within the same complex. “That’s where my uncle lives,” he said. “I had to fight against him during the war.”
We were stunned.
This poor man had been through some extremely difficult times. We couldn’t even begin to fathom being at war with a close family member on opposing sides.
As the story goes, Mr. Phong was captured by enemy forces during the war. He was imprisoned close to Hue and the DMZ for over a year. He was eventually released from prison at the end of the Vietnam War. Now he lives next door to his uncle peacefully.
Almost on cue, Mr. Phong’s daughter entered for the second time, now carrying plates full of delicious spring rolls and morning glory. Wow!! Do they know how to make a spring roll in that house?! Because other than the homemade spring rolls we had during our trek in Sapa, these spring rolls were some of the best we had in Vietnam.
Mr. Phong also touched on some darker issues such as massacres and feuds with neighboring countries. But as sombre as it was to hear, his perspective was incredibly interesting and unique. He explained his frustrations as media often forgot about such massacres on an international scale.
READ: How to spend a few days in Sapa
Our Hoi An Tour Goes External
We headed outside once we’d been filled with knowledge about the volatile history in Vietnam. It was sweltering hot, but Mr. Phong was kind enough to provide us with more water and some hand held fans. He showed us some of the popular hideouts for the soldiers during the war. Most of these were along the riverbank deep down in the brush.
We asked him about the spirit houses which we’d seen all over Vietnam. These are typically little houses with a small roofs sitting on top of a single pillar along the side of a road. But he told us spirit houses can vary in size with some being large enough to walk through.
He pointed to one special spirit house along the way which was built after a fatal motorbike accident. The family who owned the land where the accident occurred created the spirit house for the two souls who perished in the crash. So overall the idea of the spirit house is to provide offerings and shelter to the lost souls.
We continued the tour walking past several houses and buildings. It was very easy to see how much Mr. Phong loved his village. This is the place where he grew up, where his children grew up and now where his grandchildren are growing up.
It’s was really nice to see someone so proud of their hometown. We even met the local barber. After he woke up from sleeping in the chair.
A Farm And Happy Water
Mr. Phong proceeded to take us to his friends farm for the next stop. We had passed many animals on our journey, but here we were able to pet the pigs. There were so many little ones and we watched them all play with one another while they ate their lunch.
Farming is a way of life in Vietnam as rice production is still very labor intensive. We learned about the entire process of rice production after the crop is harvested from the field. Very Cool.
But let’s take a moment to talk about happy water. When you’re traveling around Vietnam, the term will keep popping up, especially if you visit rural areas. At first we had no idea what this meant, but luckily we had already encountered our first happy water tasting trekking in Sapa, so we knew exactly what to expect.
Happy water is rice wine, but in reality it’s more like a moonshine. Being a Brit and having a reputation to uphold, Mark accepted the challenge of drinking some happy water. After one taste, he was devastated no one was around to witness him swigging the strong drink.
Mr. Phong’s Family Temple
Our penultimate stop was Mr. Phong’s family temple. In Vietnam, each family has their own temple where they go to pay their respects to their deceased ancestors. As you can see, the temples are typically painted in beautiful bright colors.
Mr. Phong’s demeanor changed a little bit as we entered, he was much more serious and respectful. As we looped back to our starting point following a narrow river, Mr. Phong pointed out several small craters both in the ground and in other surrounding temples.
These remnants were from the war where bombs had fallen and debris had scattered around the target areas. Unfortunately, there are still three quarters of a million tons of unexploded ordnance all over Vietnam. People are still being killed even today due to the unknown locations of these explosives.
Finally, we headed to the local village food market. Mr. Phong explained this is where his family was able to purchase fruits, veggies and meat for all their needs. We did have a few issues with locals calling out at us but they were completely harmless. Mr. Phong said this was often the case because these individuals do not always get the care they need living out in the country.
We only mention it because as tourists we often don’t see rural areas when traveling through a new country. It’s important to understand there’s more than just Hoi An ancient town in the region.
Our Tour Comes To An End
As we arrived to the end of our tour, Mr. Phong thanked us for allowing him to give us a true insight to Vietnamese life. But in truth, we were the grateful party. He was such a lovely man, full of positivity and valuable knowledge that you simply can’t access unless you’re able to spend a day with someone similar.
The whole experience was a direct contrast to the many who clearly try to take advantage of tourists, a breath of fresh air in a polluted world. We then left our own diary entry in those “Harry Potter books” for all the fortunate travelers who follow us. You can see it below:
As he said goodbye, much to our surprise, we were escorted back to our moped and left to remember the way back to town. Ah, we didn’t expect that…
At first, we weren’t sure if we could remember the way. So we just decided to wing it. Thankfully, we made it back in one piece with no dramas. And we were so glad we did took the chance on Mr. Phong’s private Hoi An tour!
Out of respect for Mr. Phong’s privacy, we have not indicated where he lives or the restaurant we met him in. As of December 2022, one of readers confirmed Mr. Phong is no longer accepting tours and is now officially retired. We are extremely happy to hear he’s doing well and here’s to a long enjoyable retirement for Mr. Phong! You deserve it!
More From Vietnam
- Places you need to visit in Vietnam
- Best things to do in Hanoi with itinerary
- Tips for maximizing your time in Sapa
- How to travel from Hanoi to Halong Bay
- A north and central Vietnam 3 week itinerary
- How to spend 10 days in north and central Vietnam
- Best activities to see in Ninh Binh
- Cool things you should see in Phong Nha
- What you should experience in Hoi An
- Key tips you need to know about Vietnam
- What to look for in a Sapa trekking tour
- How to book an amazing Halong Bay cruise
- Best ways to travel between Da Nang and Hoi An
Want more Vietnam content? Head over to our Vietnam Travel Guides to see example itineraries, tips and popular city guides.
We hope our experience with Mr. Phong inspires you to take a trip to Vietnam!
Please let us know if you have any questions about this experience in the comments below.
Happy Travels,
Mark and Kristen
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Mark and Kristen Morgan are travel, hiking and photography experts. Over the last 6 years traveling full time, they have explored more than 40 countries and 30 US states.
Where Are Those Morgans has been featured in USA Today, Gestalten, Get Your Guide, CityPASS and Condé Nast Traveler along with various other publications. Read more about us.
Hey Mark and Kristen,
what a fantastic story! You‘re right, there‘s certainly more than whats along the usual backpackers’ trails, thanks for sharing one of these genuine gems. That said: we‘re in Hoi An for a few days and I would love to get to know Mr. Phong. I would be incredibly happy if I got his contact from you guys.
All the best
Dominik
Hi Dominik, Thanks for reading. We just sent you an email with Mr. Phong’s location. Having an amazing trip and enjoy beautiful Hoi An!
I have read quite a few travel blogs in prep for my international trips – this is high above the rest. Thank you for providing such colorful details. We’re leaving for Vietnam tomorrow and will be in Hoi An next week. Can you share Mr. Phong’s contact? I hope we will be able to meet him! Thanks again for your great work and sharing your experience!
Hi Kat, thank you so much! We just sent you an email with the details. Hope you have a fabulous trip and let us know if you have any more questions about Vietnam!
Thank you for this post – we are going to be in Hoi An in March 2023 with three teenage boys and think meeting Mr Phong would be an incredible experience for everyone. Please pass along his contact info if possible. Thank you – I stumbled upon your blog and love all of your stories and the detailed reports. Amy
Hi Amy, thank you so much! Comments like this truly make us love what we do. We just sent you an email with all the information you need and please do not hesitate to reach out with anymore questions about Vietnam. Have a wonderful trip!
Hi, lovely story..
Could you please share details of how to contact Mr Phong as we will be in Hoi an in March of next year. Thank you, Steve
Hi Steve, thanks so much for reading. We just sent you an email so let us know if you have anymore questions. Have a wonderful trip!
Hi – what an awesome tour. Could you please share Mr Phong’s details. I would love to take it when I’m there in September
Hi Amanda, we just sent you an email with all the details. Have a wonderful trip!
Nice article!
Could you share details of Mr Phong?
Hi Javier of course! We sent you a private email.
A lovely and well written article. Could u share the details of Mr Phong – we plan to be in Hoi An in mid Jun; any other tips and suggestions pls?
We’ve sent you an email with Mr Phong’s information – have a great trip to Hoi An!
Great story, thanks for posting. I’m going to Hoi An later this month (April) and I’m there for 3 nights.
Your experience sounds like something I would love.
If you could share Mr Phongs info I’d be most grateful.
Best,
Joe Swain,
California
Hi Joe, Thanks for reaching out. We sent you an email with everything you need to know and have a wonderful time in Hoi An, Vietnam!
I fully enjoyed reading this amazing article well done. I am planning to go to Dien Ban, Da Nang. I have a friend Vietnamese that lives there but I would love to visit Mr. Phong for a private tour with him and my good friend Hy Dihn Nguyen. My friend has also a spiritual house for his beloved mother and grandfather on his yard. Once again thank you so much for this wonderful article I love it so much. And yes I am very aware of Confucius believe because that’s what my friend Hy believe and he grew up with it. My friend lives just 30 minutes to Hoi An could I have Mr. Phong’s restaurant location so I can meet him with my Vietnamese friend. Thank you!
Hi Maria, we’re so glad you want to meet with Mr. Phong during your visit to Hoi An. We will send you a private email with his restaurant location.